I am not, by any means, an animal person. Yes, it is hard for me to eat them (still considering that vegetarian move Chad) and i completely support animal rights. but i do not like dogs jumping on me, cats walking on the back of the couch behind my head, i don’t even get in the ocean due to the fact that there is a very slight possibility that a fish just may bump my leg. much to my luck, over the past few months my car has become a magnet for the wild life of south florida. let’s start with the less traumatic and work our way up.
1. I was driving my daily commute from downtown west palm to palm beach gardens. this drive has become so familiar that my brain can shift into automatic and it does not take much thought. This one particular morning though i wish my eyes weren’t so glazed over. I HAD RAN OVER A TORTOISE!!!!! a very large one. it was horrifying. the impact made me second guess that it wasn’t a human! luckily i was not the murderer of the giant turtle, none the less i played a part in the spewing of guts all over the ramp to 95.
2. again, this took place on my drive to work. only this time i’m still in the parking garage of my apartment building. i hate lizards. i hate them. the only thing i hate more are frogs (see below). i start to notice something that should not be on the hood of my car, yes a green, long-tailed, lizard looking back with those curious eyes. i try to make a lot of noise, let me him know i am there. after all, they usually run off after seeing a person. i slam my door, i blare my radio. still, just staring. perhaps he was deaf because this one does not move, he’s in for the long haul. i ease my car into reverse thinking that the movement would cause him to crawl off. instead, in he takes a giant breath and LEAPS onto my windshield!!!!! i’m face to face with the little guy, finally he notices me. he takes another deep breath and leaps onto my right side mirror. i don’t know the outcome of this lizard, but that was in june and i have never seen him again.
3. This story takes place most recently, tonight actually. I was being a good CF staffer by parking in the employee lot (even though it is the furthest away from the youth building). i decide to park under one of the large trees to keep my completely black car cooled down in. after church i jump in greg’s car with everyone else to catch a ride a few minutes north to get some dinner. after a great dinner, i get to my car, expecting nothing. i start my engine and start to notice eyeballs. not just one pair, but several. baby tree frogs are decorating the hood of my car. i call greg, horrified, but decide to take his advice to “just start driving”. oh, they are quite sticky and hang tight for a few more minutes until i reach nearly 50. they begin flying onto the windshield. of course i know that they can not actually jump on me, but it was a wretched scene.
4, i need to give a warning- this is not for those with a weak stomach. it was a special day-garrett’s birthday! it happened to be a tuesday so he was at the gardens campus for staff meeting. we got a call from his parents asking us to meet them at cheesecake for a birthday celebration. we make our way to the parking lot to take my car. i hand garrett the keys thankful for the chance to sit in the passenger seat after a long day of meetings. as soon as he turns the car on we hear this horribly loud noise. the only way i can describe it is it sounded as though my transmission blew. but my car kept running. we went the back way around the church to stop by my house (i was still living at the intern house at this time) and pick up his birthday present. i hop out of the car while garrett waited. i hear this rhythmic clicking noise. i instantly yell for garrett to get out of the car. my initial reaction was that it was going to blow up! so he gets out and pops the hood. i trust that he has the situation under control so i go inside. as i make my way back out he asks me what i ran over. i tell him nothing shaking my head with a confused look. he then begins to point out the small chunks of hair and a trail of blood in the engine. we even found a tooth! i freak out! what did i run over?! my mind is completely blank. so i ask my room mate to drive us to get his car- i was scared the fur would come through my air conditioning, yes a little melodramatic.
that night we drive back to my house and cut through the church. as we’re driving i see this bloody carcass and i ask garett to stop. i said, “look! that must be what i hit!” so he gets out to examine the body. he gets a very strange look on his face. “it’s actually really big” he tells me. my heart starts to pound. NO! i’ve never hit an animal before. he won’t give me anymore details. for no reason this simple question came out of mouth: “was the head still on?” garrett can not tell a lie so he kinda looks away to dodge the question. that was all i needed. i all but scream “the head is still in my car!!!!” “there’s no possible way!” he assures me. my dad is calling my phone so i get distracted while we pull in my driveway. garrett then asks me if i have a flashlight. his mind is turning and i could see it. so i find him one, much to my horror, he tells me to stay inside of my house until he tells me to come out. oh, but i knew what was going on!! after 25 minutes of cleaning my engine with the water hose he tells me he has to drive somewhere. he takes a broom with him. i could only guess and i was correct. he was dumping the found head into the woods! ohhhh i was in shock. this was not good.
i had to find out, so i asked him what kind of animal it was. he says that he found a pair of eyes looking back at him and those eyes were attached to the head of a rabbit!!!! not only did he find it’s head but he found a leg. it was horrible i tell you!!!! i killed the bunny rabbit! there is a good side of this story though, when we stopped to examine the carcass Garrett thought it was a puppy. that’s how large this bunny was!
well this post has gone on much too long. next time i will consider doing this in installments.
